Afterwards

There was a big difference between the way I walked on the crumbling cliffs of the Northeast Coast of England at the beginning and at the end of this solo-hike.

When I started my hike and encountered cliff edges that had partly crashed into the sea, I would walk on it, a bit anxious and think: ‘If this goes down, I will go down with it. So be it.’

At the end of my hike, when confronted with a crumbling cliff face I had to pass, I would think: ‘If this goes down, I don’t want to go down with it. So I better stay away from the edge as far as possible.’

The difference being, that at first I didn’t value my life enough to be careful and not take unnecessary risks. At the last stage I appreciated my life as a precious gift, I didn’t want to jeopardise.

During this hike I experienced a huge change, internally. Not in the least because, when I started I thought I was going to die and at the end I felt more alive than ever. God changed my heart, gave me a new will to live and a different outlook to life. Also, being in nature, close to the sea helps me to heal mentally. Walking on my own gives me insights in my life, clears the rubble in my head, shows me what is important and connects me to God and helps me not to judge myself too harshly.

The walk on the Kettleness headland was pivotal. It was as if I wrestled there with God, like Jacob at the Jabbok (Genesis 32). He touched my heart and restored within me the will to live.

That’s why this hike especially changed me. God showed me that it is okay to be me, that I am enough and he loves me. That made me more appreciative to everything that is given to me. And that is very very much.

Looking back down the coast from the ferry at South Shields

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